Emotional Intelligence

In the simplest of terms, Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify, understand and manage one’s own emotions, while Social Intelligence, is the same but related to the emotions of others.

Emotional Intelligence is an important, even crucial, component to managing one’s stress levels, communicating effectively, empathizing with others, overcoming fears and challenges, and diffusing conflict. In other words, it helps you build robust relationships, succeed at work, along with achieving your personal goals.

In the context of life coaching, it becomes a comprehensive set of skills that lets you connect with your feelings, transform your intentions into actions, and make informed decisions about what you hold most dear to you.

Life coaches can help their clients develop greater EI (or EQ for Emotional Quotient) by working towards meaningful and achievable goals, while keeping their strengths and weaknesses in mind. 

Emotional Intelligence, as a framework or model, is divided into several fundamental components that dynamically and mutually reinforce each other, and are discussed below.

Self-Awareness

The stepping-stone for cultivating EI is self-awareness. When you develop the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and their impact on others, you have a greater capacity to manage and regulate those emotions, which can support your intentions and goals.

A coach that demonstrates self-awareness can also help their clients to become more aware of what they are feeling and why, and how that impacts their behavior. At the same time, they can also make clients more aware of what they don’t know about themselves and their impact on others.

Supporting clients in learning to recognize their emotions helps attune them to their vision and values. It is a means of telling them what they can and cannot do which, in turn, gives them confidence about their potential. And confidence is something that everyone can use to their advantage.

When you feel confident, you don’t shy away from change, and hesitation or procrastination often takes a backseat.

As such, developing self-awareness is a straight-forward way to not only improving your experience of life but also improving your ability to respond to change.

Self-Regulation

The next component of EI develops the capacity to regulate and manage disruptive impulses, moods and states of being. Here your life coach will help you learn to suspend judgement and think more expansively and holistically before you react impulsively.

The transition from self-awareness to self-regulation may seem easy and natural but it is far from that. Your conditioned and habitual ways of reacting to situations and even emotions in others is so ingrained, that it will take a lot of work to transform but it is achievable and well worth it.

At this point, it’s important to mention that with emotional management at the crux of emotional intelligence, it’s no wonder that a mindfulness practice will help, especially with so-called negative emotions.

When you are better able to recognize and step back from negative emotions, it helps minimize becoming overwhelmed and completely engulfed in them. As a result, stress management and emotional resilience are enhanced. Your life coach, if trained to do so, can support you in developing your own self-regulation or emotional management practices.

Empathy/Social Awareness

Empathy implies the ability to identify, understand and share others’ emotions or feelings. Coaches may have a lot of natural empathy but may also do a lot of work to develop heightened social awareness. This makes it much more likely for a life coach to transfer these capacities and skills to their clients.

In a social context, being aware of, and accepting of others’ emotions is a way to build rapport and trust. When you learn to respond more empathetically in social situations, you increase the likelihood of making a positive impact and connecting well with others.

Once again, before you can be empathetic, you need to have a good sense of your own self-awareness and a solid insight into your own emotions.

And just as it’s important to show empathy where needed, it’s equally important to know what not to do or say. Some of the people who need to develop EI the most are those who aren’t even aware of their negative impact on others by being judgmental, rude or cruel.

A life coach with high EI, can help some of their clients with lower EI realize they have these harsh tendencies towards others and do it in a kind and supportive way, thereby reducing the chances the client will become defensive or even insulted.

In the end, emotional intelligence is a requisite for personal and social success. Developing it with the help of a life coach will help you build and manage relationships in your personal and professional life.